The villain returned in my last post.
But who do you think the villain was? Who did you have in mind as you read it?
If you’re thinking the villain was Satan, you’re thinking too much like a Christian (which is not how I would have described myself back then). So no, that’s not where I was going with it.
The villain I was referring to in that last post…the one who returned…was God.
Villains return to deal another blow of crushing disappointment and pain to their victim. Which is exactly what I felt like He did.
It seems irreverent and a whole host of other things to refer to God as a villain, doesn’t it? But come on now, it sure does seem that way sometimes, doesn’t it? You know, if you dare to get brutally honest about it. I mean, really honest about it.
Uncomfortably honest about it.
I walked through the pain and disappointment of a fertility struggle that was mercilessly coupled with a miscarriage. But that’s just my story. Some of you have your own stories of the tragic loss of a parent, or a spouse, or a child. Some have stories of traumatic abuse or neglect, injustice or disappointments.
I know because I’ve heard from some of you.
Things like this affect our view of God. They cut through every Sunday School Right Answer and change our view of Him from the inside out. We know the right answers, but we don’t believe them anymore.
Because yes, sometimes things happen in our life that absolutely make God look like the villain rather than the hero of the story. And that can mess up your faith big time.
I’m not here to preach to you about how that’s all a lie and the truth is that God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life and all you need to do is trust Him because He’s sovereign and He sent His Son to die for you and you know, the Bible says….
No. Full stop.
I’m simply here to say I get it. I hear you. That is an awful place to be. But hear me when I say this:
Your view of God is too important to not be honest about.
Please don’t put on a smile and pretend you believe God is the hero if deep down you know that you don’t. Don’t give this thing a seat on the sidelines. Drag it into the center of the ring and do business with it.
Wrestling with who you believe God to be might just be the best thing to ever happen to your faith. But first you’ve got to give yourself the permission to be honest about it.
Get down to the truth of who you believe God to be. You’ll probably make an awful mess of things, but I promise you it’s a mess worth making.
“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” – A. W. Tozer
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I just find it hard to bring it to the center of the ring and deal with it when my wife is just so much in love with God and always praising Him when I feel like He just is so much against us. I can’t discuss it with her because she has no idea where I’m coming from despite seeing how I struggle with it.
My favorite post so far!
I love it that this one is your favorite so far! You must be a little feisty too…haha…