With God looking more and more like the villain every day, I knew I had no other choice. It was time to end this awful relationship that was causing me so much pain. It was time to break up with God. I don’t know how else to describe it. It honestly felt like a…
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#24. When God Plays the Villain
The villain returned in my last post. But who do you think the villain was? Who did you have in mind as you read it? If you’re thinking the villain was Satan, you’re thinking too much like a Christian (which is not how I would have described myself back then). So no, that’s not where…
#23. The Villain Returns
“I’m so sorry…I can’t find a heartbeat.” The words cut through me like a knife. What did she say? Is she sure? There has to be some kind of mistake. Are you sure the machine is working? Do you even know what you’re doing? This can’t be happening…I don’t think I can breathe…This can’t be…
#22. There’s a Gap in My Story
But wait… Before we ride off into the sunset, I need to take you back to 2011. There’s a gap in my story I need to fill in. By 2011, the flood waters of anger and betrayal caused by the 2008 tsunami of disappointment (see Post #9) had slowly receded a bit. I still had…
#21. Phase 6: The Miracle
I didn’t completely hate it. How was this even possible? This wasn’t supposed to happen. That’s not at all how that Sunday morning was supposed to go. I was supposed to get mad and angry. I was supposed to get irritated and annoyed. I was supposed to proudly shine my “I Told You So” crown…
#20. Phase 5: The Unexpected Phase
I didn’t see this one coming. This phase caught me completely off-guard. At this point in my story, I was not expecting anything about my view on faith, on Christianity or on God to change. Nor was I hoping it would. Remember, I was still quite happy and content with the way things were. I…
#19. Phase 4: The Shift
This is when I felt things start to shift. By now, a little time had gone by. My anger was still there, but not as obvious anymore. Professional counseling and a couple of big positive life changes helped put some wonderful distance between myself and those painful memories of past disappointments. Church and religion continued to…
#18. Phase 3: The Dark Phase
In Phase 2 I didn’t just ‘stop going to church’. I had decided to completely bail on the entire Christian religion and on God Himself altogether. And this is where that decision eventually led me. This was the worst phase of them all but God knew I couldn’t skip it. The original thrill of rebellion…
#17. Phase 2: The Fun Phase
I absolutely did not want to be a Christian anymore. This is the phase where I couldn’t keep it in any longer. My skepticism and frustration completely took over. Nothing about God or Christianity or religion made sense or even seemed logical. Not a single thing about any of it was appealing to me anymore….
#16. Phase 1: The Restless Phase
In the next few blog posts, I’m going to zoom out a little. I want to give you an overview of the whole process I went through. I’m hoping to give you a glimpse inside the mind and heart of someone like me–from the restless beginning all the way through to the rebuilding season I’m…