Wait…what?
You read that right. I can’t share my story with you.
Why?
Because this is MY story and you can’t have it. Just because I’m sharing my story with you here, doesn’t mean I’m sharing my story with you. You can’t take it or borrow it or otherwise claim it as yours.
This one’s mine. You have to go get your own.
Because I have no idea what you think about when you think about God. And I know there’s no way I can prove anything about Him to you, or anyone. I wouldn’t dare try.
My goal in putting my story out there is not to somehow prove anything about God to anyone. I’m not trying to tell anyone how to think or what to believe. This isn’t that type of blog.
In fact, you’re allowed to disagree with me. You’re allowed to not be convinced. You’re allowed to roll your eyes a little. Why?
Because this is my story…and I’m not sharing it.
I know some of you reading this are firm in your faith, belief and convictions. You don’t need me, my story or anything I have to say to further prove God’s existence to you anyway. You’re set. You’ve got your own story (and I hope you find a way to tell it.)
But I know others of you aren’t so convinced. Some of you used to believe God was real but now your beliefs have gotten really…complicated. Some of you are new to the idea God might actually be real.
Others believe He’s real but have no idea what He’s actually like beyond that. It’s all kinda blank.
Some of you just don’t know what to think. You believe in some sort of concept of a god, but really have no idea who he/she/it is or what that possibly means for you.
I’ve spent some time in all of those camps.
In order for me to get to where I am now, firmly rooted and anchored in what I know to be true, I had to dig down deep. I’m talking real deep. It’s been a really long and messy process. But what I have discovered after all this time has been so incredibly worth it.
But, I know what eventually made God real to me and gave me all the proof I needed is probably not what will make Him real to you…or to anyone else for that matter. That’s why I would never ever try to debate the existence of God with anyone.
In fact, every time I hear someone arrogantly question or debate the existence of God, I can’t help but wonder what’s really driving that question. I doubt it’s ever really about scientific facts or intellectual reasoning. I think there’s likely an underlying hurt or pain or unmet longing buried somewhere deep in their soul that’s fueling their fire.
I know that’s how it was with me anyway. And my inferno raged on for quite some time before I was able to identify and get at what was fueling it in the first place.
But you know what? Sometimes fires are OK. They clear the way for new things to be built. Strong things. Beautiful things. Rare things. Sacred things.
So, if you’re wrestling with what you think about when you think about God, friend I can’t encourage you enough to keep going.
Even if things are an ugly mess right now…keep going.
Even if your “faith” is unrecognizable and a mere shell of what it used to be…keep going.
Don’t stop until you’ve found your “proof”, your “worth it”. Then promise to come back and tell me all about it one day.
I can’t wait to hear you tell your story.
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Related Posts
#28. The Surprising Thing That Made it Worth It
#29. I Told God to Prove it…and He Did
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Struggling with your faith? Looking for a safe space to sort things out? Check out my private facebook group to connect with others who have doubts and questions too: Complicated Faith: A Space for the Doubting and Questioning